Living just past my fears was highlighted in my heart a little more recently. Kam and I had the amazing opportunity to take a cruise to Cozumel. It is something we love to do!! If you have cruised before than you know that when you reach your destination you have a day or more to get off the boat. I am a bit of a creature of habit and lets face it, I make some decisions unintentionally and intentionally based on fear. This was our 4th cruise to Cozumel. Our usual schedule was to get off the boat, jog/walk from the port to some popular shops and restaurants (which is about 3.5 miles each way) and then shop. Kam loves to meet and talk with the people that live their locally. Many of them only speak a little English, but we make it work. On our day off the boat, we were headed back and Kam mentioned renting a jeep to go explore the island. Say what? I was not so sure. I was no dummy. I have seen the shows where people go missing visiting other countries. I had souvenirs in hand and was headed back to the safety of the ship. We walked passed a nicely dressed young man holding a laminated advertisement for jeep rentals. Take a deep breath. Here we go. Kam asked how much and how do we get the jeep and we were immediately hurried into a cab that quickly drove the opposite direction of our boat and what I knew as safe.
Well this scenario looked exactly like what I had seen on television. It was over. The taxi made several turns and I immediately realized I had no idea where we were. The area was still a bit touristy so I had some hope there. I am pretty sure I did look at Kam and tell him I loved him. Just in case. The taxi stopped in front of a run down building. It was a legit jeep rental company. Or so it seemed. We went all out getting insurance because we weren’t in Kansas anymore.
We got the keys and drove away in our very own little red jeep. The engine light was on and Kam had to keep it out of 3rd gear because 3rd gear was not a good option. We were off. I of course had Kam stop in the middle of the road for a quick selfie. It was incredibly windy and as I held up my phone, the paper map that they called our “Mexican GPS”, flew out of my hands. I screamed, because that is what I do. Kam has encouraged me all of our marriage that my random screaming is incredibly unhelpful. It alerts him there is a problem only to stress him out while he has no idea why I am screaming. I jumped out of the jeep and ran down our only directions to get back to the rental company.
We laughed at the mishap, ONLY after I had safely secured our map.
We drove down the main road parallel to the shops where we usually stroll and then we headed out past all the familiar places. It was amazing. We saw beautiful sights that were not available at the port. We could not look at the coast without smiling. The wind was blowing through my hair and we were on the open road. It was such a fun experience, but similar to my mountain experiences, it was just past my fears.
On our drive back we were instructed to fill up the tank. The rules are similar to renting here in the U.S. We stopped at a gas station and had an experience that I know we will never forget. As a side note, gas is $6 a gallon, so budget accordingly when renting in Cozumel. The station was full service. I am just old enough to remember living in a small Illinois town where you could pay to have someone fill up your tank. In Cozumel, that is how all of the stations are run. A couple of men approached the jeep and asked how much gas we needed. Again, their English was very broken, but we confirmed with a man at the pump that we indeed knew how to get back to where we started. He was very kind and took his time finding the words to put our minds at ease that we knew where to go. Kam tipped him $20 and his facial expression was one we will never forget. He explained that he works 8 hours a day and makes $5. He could not seem to say thank Kam enough. It was a moment worth so much more than $20.
There is beauty in life outside of our comfortable, invisible boundaries that are created by fear. God has so much more for us to experience. He wants us to live a life that reaches beyond the ‘what ifs’ that keep us captive.
While my stories so far are specific to travel, there are so many other places in life that fear holds us back. Whether it is speaking, writing, making new friends, trying new hobbies, giving generously, or learning new things, fear should never be a part of the equation.
There is so much freedom where there is no fear. I want to go back to my first article on fear. I started the article by referring to the movie “The Truman Show.” The plot of the story requires the main character to live in his bubble. The only way for him to appear free and yet not leave is to introduce fear. Sadly, it took me 4 visits to Cozumel to experience the island and its most beautiful parts. My fears were similar to those in “The Truman Show.” I was fearing the unknown. I am now realizing that my omniscient father is just that, all knowing. My fear is based on self-reliance, but God is begging for me to grasp that there is one thing he doesn’t know: the unknown. What a hope filled statement!!
“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4