Tag: God

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Taste and See

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Taste and See

 

When our youngest son was in preschool, my husband would take him and drop him off at school on his way to work. On this particular morning, our little one was four years old and having a rough morning. His attitude was less than great. Kam, being the fun parent for sure, would often if not every Tuesday and Thursday morning stop on the way to the school to get him a donut.

 

On this morning our youngest knew his behavior did not warrant a sweet treat and was ready for the drive to land him directly at school. Kam made that extra turn and stopped in the parking lot of the donut shop. He looked our littlest in the eyes and said, “I am not getting you a donut because you are good, I am getting it for you because I am.” It was a huge moment for both of them. Our son realized that our love for him was not based on his behavior. Kam’s goodness for him was always available.

 

Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”

This verse reminds me of this moment. Because it is about donuts? No. Well maybe. God’s goodness is not dependent on our good behavior. His goodness just is. Period.

 

It is a simple message and yet hard to metabolize, just like that sugar filled donut. But oh how good it is.

 

 

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What I Have Learned From The Corona Virus

 

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Living in a state of mandated quarantine has allowed me more time for jogging. Today I was jogging uphill (that is only important because, ouch!) on a narrow sidewalk. I could see a man jogging in my direction, and I was making a plan to move off the sidewalk, provided there were no cars coming. As I stepped off into the road, the man gave me a look that looked less than kind. He kept eye contact until I was completely past him.

 

I was not being mean or cruel. I was simply putting the mandatory 6 feet of distance between him and I. My heart in moving away was protection, not rejection.

 

Sometimes we feel that way with God. He allows or disallows things in our lives that feel like rejection when in reality, He sees the bigger picture and is truly offering protection.

 

…When we do not get that promotion, when we don’t get the job, when that close friend now seems distant, when we don’t get invited to that social gathering, when that seemingly perfect guy is not interested, when someone else gets credit.

 

God is not moved by our emotions. He knows the end from the beginning, and He is our protector.

 

He will protect us from unhealthy friendships that will corrupt our hearts, wealth or notoriety that our character cannot handle, settling on a position when a better one is right around the corner, authority and power that we do not have discipline to wield, and decisions in the present that will harm our future.

 

The enemy will hand you the facts.

“You did not get the promotion.”

“You did not get the position.”

“Those girls do not want to be your friend.”

“You were not invited to that event.”

“He is not that into you.”

“You should have gotten the credit.”

 

The enemy will NEVER present the TRUTH! The truth is God is GOOD!

 

There is protection in His “No”, and in His “Not yet”.

 

Just like I was trying to protect the man on the sidewalk because I knew more than him, God knows more than we ever could and is working all things for our good.

 

Psalm 32:11

So celebrate the goodness of God! He shows his kindness to everyone who is his. Go ahead—shout for joy, all you upright ones who want to please him!

 

 

 

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Card Shopping and Corporate Worship; Changing the Way You View Worship

Have you ever taken on the daunting task of card shopping? It can sometimes feel like finding a needle in a haystack. The store has three two-sided isles filled with cards anxiously waiting to be read. If you have any anxiety about decision making, these isles are not for you. You may want to take a friend! Continue reading “Card Shopping and Corporate Worship; Changing the Way You View Worship”

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Just Past My Fears – Part 2

Living just past my fears was highlighted in my heart a little more recently. Kam and I had the amazing opportunity to take a cruise to Cozumel. It is something we love to do!! If you have cruised before than you know that when you reach your destination you have a day or more to get off the boat. I am a bit of a creature of habit and lets face it, I make some decisions unintentionally and intentionally based on fear. This was our 4th cruise to Cozumel. Our usual schedule was to get off the boat, jog/walk from the port to some popular shops and restaurants (which is about 3.5 miles each way) and then shop. Kam loves to meet and talk with the people that live their locally. Many of them only speak a little English, but we make it work. On our day off the boat, we were headed back and Kam mentioned renting a jeep to go explore the island. Say what? I was not so sure. I was no dummy. I have seen the shows where people go missing visiting other countries. I had souvenirs in hand and was headed back to the safety of the ship. We walked passed a nicely dressed young man holding a laminated advertisement for jeep rentals. Take a deep breath. Here we go. Kam asked how much and how do we get the jeep and we were immediately hurried into a cab that quickly drove the opposite direction of our boat and what I knew as safe.

Continue reading “Just Past My Fears – Part 2”

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Just Beyond Fear – Part 1

 

Fear. It is limiting. It keeps you bound to living small. It is something God never intended. We recently introduced our boys to the movie, “The Truman Show.” Sitting here typing this article on fear, God brought that movie to my mind. In the movie, Truman is conditioned to not go beyond certain places by a very strategic amount of fear. His life is the plot of the movie. The audience watches him live while he is completely unaware. He is taught from a young age to be afraid of the water to keep him from leaving. He has this deep desire to explore, but the writers of the show literally work night and day to present the most negative ‘what if’ situations. It really is an interesting movie when you stop to think about it. I would not assume the writer meant for viewers to walk away with a deep understanding of fear, but the message is there. Continue reading “Just Beyond Fear – Part 1”

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Why Has It Worked? The 3 A’s

 

Have you ever lived life with a friend that seems to have a specific area of life mastered? Maybe it is an area that you find yourself struggling. I know in my life, I have been blessed to have relationships with women that rock the role of running their homes. They have it all going like a well oiled machine. I love to learn in areas that I am very aware that I come up short. When I spend time with those women, I find that many times I am asking questions about things that they have not stopped to analyze. While they make lists and organize, they are not following a system that they read about somewhere. It is just something they do well. When it comes down to it, there is so much value in taking the time to figure out why something works. In our personal lives, we spend a large portion of our time focused on what we don’t do well, asking God for help in those areas. If that time is for the purpose of improvement, than it is time well spent. If that time is simply to beat ourselves up, we are wasting some very precious moments.

Many life changing books exist because someone took the time to sit down and detail just what went right. While they know the Holy Spirit has graciously lead them, they have are pausing to think about why it all worked. As believers, we know that the Holy Spirit is so sweet to guide us and wants to help us. We are not in this journey alone.

As a reader, I am thankful for those writers, teachers and pastors that take the time to write and share wisdom they have gained simply by living life and submitting to God. This post is my attempt to do just that. I want to detail some practical steps that I have seen work in marriage. I am not running on my own on this. I have processed with Kam. It is what we do. We process it all. The good. The bad. And the ugly.

The Three A’s of Growing Together:

Before I get to the three A’s I just want to say that I could have titled it the The Three A’s of Dealing with Conflict or Confrontation in Marriage. That subtitle sounds so negative and really misses the amazing byproduct of dealing with conflict in a healthy way. Growth! Growth is not easy. As a kid you may remember experiencing growing pains. As a parent of two gentle giants, I have listened to my boys complain about growth pains. If you have ever been a member of an organization or even a church, you may understand the idea of growth pains. It may be uncomfortable and as the name suggests, it may be painful, but growth is good. Remember that as you grow in your marriage. Hebrews 12:11 refers to the pain that is associated with discipline but says that it yields peaceful fruit and righteousness. I know all marriages could use some peaceful fruit to be yielded.

  1. Attitude – So let’s just be totally honest. The Three A’s could actually be attitude for number 1, 2 and 3. It is just that important. Your attitude when you are working on any kind of conflict in your marriage will change everything. A synonym for attitude is position. What is your position? Are your intentions to win a fight? Your attitude is a result of your belief. What do you believe about your spouse and about your marriage? Asking a few heart questions can calm the roller coaster that our thoughts and feelings can take us on.

    Paul writes in Philippians 2 verse 3 how Christ is the ultimate example of living in humility. The Bible says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit but with (an attitude of) humility regard others as more important than yourselves.” Starting in verse 4 it says, “Do not merely look out for your own personal interest, but also for the interest of others.”

  2. Approach – This word can actually be found under the lengthy definition for attitude. Your approach is huge. I often hear Kam counseling with both couples and parents and I hear him explain the importance of responding and not reacting. Reacting is void of thought. It is quick. It does not take the consequences of your actions into account. Responding is thought out. It allows for a deep breath. Responding is an approach that is not led by feelings. Your approach can help diminish further pain and move you toward intimacy.

    When we are dating, we put so much thought into our approach. Should I call? What should I say? How should I say it? Is it too soon? It is a thought out action with the other person in mind. Marriages would benefit from communication with that much care involved.

  3. Actions – When I sat down to write, I had to include actions. The word action is also at the end of the definition for  attitude in the dictionary. No joke. You will just have to take my word that I had no idea. So technically, attitude could be all three points. There is the old adage “Actions speak louder than words.” It is so true. While your lips may be giving the answer, “I am not mad,” your folded arms and lack of eye contact are saying something totally different. Trust me I know. Ask my dad if I have ever been disciplined for the immense amount of attitude showing in my actions. Your actions signal as much as your words to your spouse about whether or not you really want to work on your differences. Notice I didn’t say ‘work out’ your differences. Your differences are where your strengths lie, so don’t work them out, just work on them. Remember when you are addressing the hard parts of your relationship that your actions are literally saying whether your heart wants your spouse to move closer or farther away. Sometimes in the midst of frustration, a simple touch on the shoulder or a sweet hug speaks more than words and may be enough to spark the words you need for growth to occur.

    I love the story of Ruth. When Ruth is working in the fields she realizes that Boaz is offering her special treatment. Naomi gives her some very interesting instructions for her interactions with Boaz. In Ruth 3:4, Naomi says, “When he lies down, notice the place where he is lying, and go and uncover his feet and lie down.” Naomi is giving her action steps to let Boaz know her intentions. She didn’t verbally tell him she was ready to be his girl, she showed him. Being the first to act can take courage. Be brave!

In real estate they say that the key is location, location, location. In marriage, I would say that the key is attitude, attitude, attitude.

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Dwell

Samuel 3:3 The Lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the Lord, where the ark of God was. (ESV)

Ever been in a conversation between people of different generations? You know the ones where someone older tells you, “We had to walk five miles in the snow, uphill to get to school.” Or maybe it was you and it sounded more like this, “When we were kids we had to get up off the couch to change the channel.” Continue reading “Dwell”